Thanksgiving is over and we are in the process of recovering. And by recovering, I mean eating pie. We hosted this year for Matt’s family. Highlights of the weekend included several epic games of Settlers of Catan, as well as walking into the kitchen to find Uncle Jim squirting whipped cream into the dog’s mouth. The weekend was a culmination of several (ok, six) months of intense home renovations. But it was also a culmination of several months of serious life developments and decisions.

We decided to use this weekend as an opportunity to tell everyone about our fertility issues and adoption decision. We thought we might try a subtle approach. We left Pavao’s The Family of Adoption book out on the coffee table, hoping someone would see it and ask some questions. But when I saw Matt’s mom using it as a coaster, I realized we might need to be a bit more blunt.

More direct conversations were had and the news was received well, if not with a dose of shock. It is a difficult kind of announcement to make. The infertility diagnosis naturally elicits sadness and loss, while the adoption decision elicits curiosity, fear, and if you’re lucky, congratulations. Sometimes I feel cheated of the experience of being able to say, “We’re pregnant!!”  Nobody ever jumps up and down when you tell them you’re adopting.

I am reminded of what my friend Hannah told me a few weeks ago: “You can’t steal my joy unless I let you. I don’t have a lot of joy in my life, and you can’t have it.”

So I am holding tight to my joy and feel relieved that we have indeed, let the cat out of the bag.