So it’s summer now, and there is officially nothing on TV. Well, unless you count Losing it with Jillian or Persons Unknown. I will admit I do love me some Jillian Michaels, with her perfectly toned body inflicting suffering on overweight America. Anyway, the other night I found myself particularly exhausted at about 7pm, absolutely unable to muster the strength to tackle one of the billion home improvement and crafting projects on my list. So I decided to browse around Netflix for a movie we could watch while Matt did the bills. I had heard a lot of twitter about this documentary Ricki Lake made, and thought, hey! I’m pregnant! Sounds like a good idea!

I don’t know that I would call it a good idea, but it was certainly an transformative few hours for me. As the name suggests, Ricki Lake takes you on a little behind-the-scenes tour of the baby-birthing industry, from the perspectives of OBs, mothers, midwives, and researchers. Yes, the movie was a bit slanted in favor of midwives and the natural, at-home birthing option. Now, in a previous post I mentioned how I was not really interested in a doula, midwife, or birthing center. I guess I just feel very comfortable in hospitals and have a lot of faith in doctors. I do my research, ask a lot of questions, and consider myself a fairly informed patient. But what this movie really made me realize is that being born is a business, and sometimes, decisions are being made for financial and convenience reasons. And when I am in the heat of the moment, in the worst pain of my life, am I am really going to be able to sort through what the doctor is telling me about what our next steps should be? Who is going to help me stick to the plan? How am I going to avoid unnecessary interventions? Obviously Matt will be there, but he won’t be able to tell if the forceps/vacuum/epistiotomy/c-section is really necessary, or if the doctor just wants to get home to that game of golf.

I do believe I am getting adequate care from my OB. I like him, his assistant, and his nurses. They take the time to listen to me. But they might not be with me in the birthing room. I don’t think a birthing center is right for me. I want to have the option of pain meds. But I want someone with me there at the hospital, reminding me that this is what my body was designed to do. That it knows what to do. I made an appointment for us to attend an orientation meeting at the nearby birthing center where many of the city’s midwives practice. I am hoping that I can find a way to make this whole labor thing slightly less terrifying. I mean, women have been doing this since the beginning of time. Piece of cake, right?